How do I tell someone that I’m asexual?

Telling someone about your asexuality is a personal decision, and it's important to approach the conversation in a way that feels comfortable for you. Here are some steps to consider when sharing your asexuality with someone:

LAST REVIEWED ON
June 13, 2023
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Telling someone about your asexuality is a personal decision, and it's important to approach the conversation in a way that feels comfortable for you. Here are some steps to consider when sharing your asexuality with someone:

  1. Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a suitable setting where both you and the person you're talking to can have a private and uninterrupted conversation. Select a time when you're both relaxed and able to give each other your full attention.
  2. Educate Yourself: Before discussing your asexuality, make sure you have a clear understanding of what it means to be asexual. This will help you explain your orientation effectively and address any potential questions or misconceptions the other person may have.
  3. Be Honest and Direct: When you're ready to have the conversation, be honest and direct about your asexuality. Use "I" statements to express how you feel, such as "I wanted to let you know that I identify as asexual."
  4. Explain What Asexuality Means to You: Share your personal experience of being asexual and how it relates to your feelings of sexual attraction. Help the person understand that asexuality is a valid sexual orientation and not a phase, choice, or medical condition.
  5. Clarify and Answer Questions: Give the person an opportunity to ask questions or seek clarification. Be patient and understanding as they may not be familiar with asexuality. Answer their questions to the best of your ability and provide resources or references for further information if needed.
  6. Share Boundaries and Expectations: Discuss any specific boundaries or expectations related to your asexuality. This could involve topics such as dating, physical intimacy, or navigating relationships. It's important to establish open communication and mutual understanding.
  7. Emphasize Trust and Acceptance: Reassure the person that your asexuality does not change who you are as a person. Express your desire for their support, understanding, and acceptance. Emphasize that you value the relationship and hope they can respect your identity.

Remember that everyone's reaction may differ, and it's okay if the person needs time to process the information. Ultimately, the most important thing is to stay true to yourself and surround yourself with people who respect and support you for who you are.